Quote #24

“We’d all like to vote for the best man, but he’s never a candidate.”
- Kin Hubbard

Oh boy. Here we go.

I guess it was “Super Tuesday” or something today. In case you haven’t picked up on it before, I’m not really that into politics. Politicians and their squabbling bother me. I know they do a lot of important work too, or at least they fill a necessarily evil position (or is it a necessary evil?). Either way, they all bother me.

Since this is a presidential election year, I’ll probably share quite a few political quotes with my thoughts. I have several.

This quote’s straight forward and requires little to no explanation.

I can never pick which candidate to vote for because they are all made of plastic, full of hot air and empty calories, prone to flattery and lies, and their singular goal is to make me want them to lead me – not to fix problems. I don’t want a leader who is willing to do all of that political malarkey to get my vote. I would fight my way through a zombie apocalypse to get to the polls if a candidate seemed truly honest, sincerely interested in reason and logic, benevolently invested in improving the country, and made little to no effort to win people over with butt-kissing and nitpicking. The butt-kissing and nitpicking over insignificant issues always turns me off. So they can all forget about my vote until someone comes around who deserves it.

Quote #8

“I don’t make jokes, I just watch the government and report the facts.”
- Will Rogers

 

What makes a thing funny?  How is it that a person commenting on our government’s actions could be mistaken for a comedian?

Of course, the reality behind this quote is that Will Rogers was indeed a comedian and a humorist (among many other things), but in search of the deeper truth buried in these words, I ask myself, “What makes a thing funny?”  Especially in the context of government, such a question seems odd and out of place.  The government tends to be dry and boring, how could its products bring laughter to us?

Some of the most universally humorous situations contain out-of-place elements or ideas – they don’t really make sense, but our minds can connect them anyhow and we chuckle as a result.  Perhaps that’s why the government makes us laugh when reported by someone talented enough to spot the funny in the situation.  The government is constantly doing things that don’t make sense.  When reported in their context, these nonsensical actions are inherently funny.

As someone with a direct view into the inner workings of a small portion of our government, I can attest to the truth of this quote.  You don’t need to take the government’s actions out of context to get a good laugh.  You can just take a look at the facts and bust your gut all day long.

Quote #7

“In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.”
- John Adams

 

If one of the founding fathers, and the second president of the United States can make fun of politicians and government institutions like this, then that tells you just how right quote #6 was.  In fact, this very topic came up toward the end of that post when I started talking about politicians rather than the government as a whole (this is the follow-up quote I promised).

I love how Mr. Adams addresses the uselessness of three groups of people at once in this quote.  The first group, the idlers, are useless and shameful in and of themselves.  They are a benefit to nobody and are a burden to society.  The next group, lawyers, well…  What can I say?  They are as political in thought and heart as any politician (many politicians and presidents were once lawyers).  Finally, three or more useless men are a congress.  If, in John Adam’s eyes, the whole of congress was filled with useless politicians in his day, I suppose we haven’t improved much on the system our founding fathers laid down for us.

I would never want to sit in on a session of congress.  I just know I would get annoyed.  I’ve dealt with useless men individually, and I’ve dealt with law firms, but I have been lucky enough to stay away from congress thus far and I intend to keep it that way.

Quote #6

“A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them.”
- J. O’Rourke

 

Looks like I’ve been on a little politics kick lately, which is funny because I really don’t enjoy anything political.  I guess I get kind of annoyed every election year at all of the political nonsense that goes on around me.

This quote makes me laugh, which takes us back to the front page quote (#2).  I think it’s safe to say most people find the idea behind this quote funny to a degree, and the humor lies in the truth it contains.  We all know that we only trust the government as far as we have to, and no further.

This is not to say I have anything against our government.  I just don’t rely on it, like I don’t count on luck coming along to save me.

I suppose I would probably say my real issue isn’t so much with the government, but with its people – the politicians.  I would say, “A few politicians and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them, but the politicians are less favorable.”  I actually have a quote along these lines, so watch for it in the pingback or trackback (or whatever) in the comments on this post, or just subscribe.

Quote #5

“Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.”
- Douglas Adams

 

Is my commentary really even necessary for this one?  This quote is so beautiful, concise and true, I have nothing to add but a few reflections.

I think of all of the many presidents this country has had, and I think about their “qualifications.”  I think that by the time you arrive in a position of being capable of becoming the president you are no longer in the same tax bracket, education bracket, social bracket or any other bracket as those who you are to represent as president.

When will [Bret Peters], my neighbor, make it to the ballot?  How about my favorite high school teacher, [Mr. Williams]?  Sure, we could all write in the same name and elect a president that should be allowed to do the job, but how could such a feat ever conquer the millions of dollars the official candidates spend each election for campaigning and how could we all agree on the same person?

A qualified person could never be elected, then, because if they have the money and political status necessary to win under our current system they are, by default, unqualified (out of touch); and a single qualified candidate could never be decided upon by the whole populous.  Obviously, if a humble (in touch) rich person with no serious time in politics who has not lost touch with his (or her) roots could be located and convinced to run for the presidential office, perhaps they could campaign with the rest of them and get elected.  I have to ask myself though, would the election process be enough to corrupt them and maintain the veracity of these words from Mr. Adams?

Perhaps, but we shall never know for sure.

Quote #4

“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
- Burns, quoted in Life

 

I enjoy this quote because it feels just as sarcastic as it does genuine and either way it contains a great truth.  It’s hard to say (without any background on the context or intented meaning) whether he was being completely serious, satirical or a mixture of both.

However he intended it to be interpreted (and he probably inteded both the sarcastic and genuine meanings) it has great meaning to me this election.  I have another quote (which I’m sure will come up in the future) that deals with politics and deals with a similar idea, and both quotes express an idea that I believe.  I truly feel that political and government entities have lost touch with the reality of their post in society.

On the serious side of this quote, the people who know what needs to be done in this country, the true voice of America, is caught up in the daily routine.  They go to work, do their jobs and go home.  Nothing great happens to improve the nation, nothing spectacular comes along that changes their life.  Those who would do the best job running this country are to busy trying to get by in life to actually do the job.

Now, I think the heavier meaning (the more significant aspect) of this quote is in the sarcasm.  Think about how easy it is for us, as bystanders and witnesses to all that happens in the government, to criticize our leaders and say we could to better.  Even if the government is out of touch with the reality of our lives, they are doing what they believe to be right (at least some of the time, anyhow) and I like to think they are doing the best they can.

Just like the beer can wielding armchair quarterback yelling at his television set Sunday afternoon, many average Americans (especially in the service industries like taxi drivers and hair stylists) tend to pass their time with their customers discussing issues they know very little about and giving their “professional” opinion about how a particular negotiation might have been handled better, or how a particular bill should have been drafted to more fully benefit the community (meaning, benefit them personally).

Perhaps what Burns was getting at was this: Every one of those political backseat drivers could end their argument by saying, “Of course I could do a better job of running the country, but I’m too busy cutting hair, earning my dollar, to actually do anything about it.”