Quote #59

“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.”
– Ernest Hemingway

I’m doing two today because I feel like this one goes nicely with the previous one. Well, and the one before that. And several others.

As humans, we often compare ourselves to others. The problem is when that behavior results in someone concluding that they are better (or more important) than someone else.

Even if you were to achieve actual superiority over someone else (not sure this is possible), there is nothing noble in doing so. It is a selfish, immature endeavor that cannot make you an inherently better person. The sum of your efforts, all revolving around another person, will be that you are better than someone that you had no need (or ability, really) to compare yourself with.

It may seem like a more self-centered view, but the only person that matters in the race for superiority is you. The only person you can truly measure is yourself.

You may be comparing yourself with your neighbor and you may one day declare yourself to be superior to him. But his life is different from yours. He may be up against challenges that you know nothing about. Without his unique situation to accompany your efforts, what have you gained from feeling superior to him? All you’ve managed to do is belittle him in your own view, judging him without the full picture.

But you can judge your own self. You have the full picture of your own life. Use that to your advantage. Take a hard look at the you of the past and challenge yourself to being superior to that person. And do it again tomorrow. Do it every day.

Quote #51

“The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.”
– Charles Du Bos

I watched a movie recently that got me thinking about this quote again.

Like most people, I don’t like to be preached at. However, my definition of being preached at is probably a little different from yours. A lot of people felt preached at when they saw Wall-E. I did not. But I’m not setting out to discuss what I thought of that movie, I’m going to touch briefly on a different movie.

I’ve heard more than a few people criticize the new Man of Steel movie for drawing too many religious parallels. In fact, it seems the filmmakers may have been intentionally marketing the film at Christians. So it’s easy to see how non-religious moviegoers may have felt a little preached at.

The movie didn’t have too much of a preachy tone for me, but it did have a strong moral message, which (in this case) I appreciated. The theme is to decide what kind of man you will become.

Religious themes and parallels aside, this is a great lesson. Superman (Clark Kent), even as a boy, had great power and immense potential for good. As a child he could have easily shown bullies who was boss and they never would have bothered him again. But his father taught him to restrain his power and use it with discernment and caution for fear that he would be rejected and outcast as a freak.

He also taught his son to focus on the long term consequences of his actions and choices (sure, you could beat that little boy up, but there are many reasons why you should not). The statement (as posed in the film), “You have to decide what kind of man you want to grow up to be,” provided Clark with a strong moral foundation. Also, the idea of not going around showing everyone his power indiscriminately taught him a valuable lesson about discretion which eventually led to the adoption of a secret identity.

There is another side to this though.

Clark could have become comfortable with backing away from fights. After spending his childhood shying away from confrontation due to the lessons he was learning, what if Clark Kent had decided that violence was, without exception, wrong?

Sure, he loved rescuing people. He did that all the time. But he didn’t do any fighting. I think the movie kind of glanced over a monumental internal battle that could have taken place inside of Clark’s head.

What happened in his head when he first realized that General Zod would have to be dealt with violently? Did he simply deny every ounce of restraint in his mind and lash out violently? Was it a calculated decision to adopt violence as the solution to the problem?

The reality is that we don’t know. But what we do know is that he made a choice and became Superman. In fact (if you haven’t seen the movie yet you might want to skip to the next paragraph to avoid a spoiler) the final battle scene of the movie did show, through acting, a bit of an internal battle when he was faced with the choice of ending the conflict at the risk of killing a few of the people he was trying to save. This was resolved based on the scene with the tornado in which his father taught him that some things (discretion about the use of his powers) outweigh a single human life (or the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, as Superman’s father knew that Clark would go on to be a great benefit to the human race).

Superman, as far as I know, does not use violence unless he needs to. But young Clark Kent was taught a high moral standard that may not have seemed to allow any room for violence. That non-violent Kent had to sacrifice a part of himself that he was comfortable with in order to become Superman, a hero dedicated to using whatever force is necessary in order to attain the best possible outcome in a given situation according to his values.

Today’s quote has meant a lot to me in various points of my personal journey. I, like many people, tend to get very comfortable with certain parts of my life, personality, or character. There is always some unrest, some area in which I know I could improve. Those are the uncomfortable bits. But what about the parts of us that we are comfortable with? We tend to take them for granted and overlook them when looking for ways to improve. Is there really no way to improve those parts?

Perhaps you feel that you are good at communicating. You are able to tell stories in a way that people understand, and you are talented at getting messages across even under less than ideal circumstances. You worked hard on your communication skills for years, and now you feel that it is something with which you are comfortable.

Every once in a while you’ll fail to get your message across, but you decide that the other person was just an exceptionally poor listener.

One day someone tells you that they feel you aren’t communicating well with them. Human nature is to react defensively. You justify your defensiveness based on the years you put into improving your communication skills. Besides, they must be a poor communicator since they are failing to recognize your awesome communication skills, right?

I used one example here (one that I’ve seen before), but this idea applies everywhere. The reality is that we are often afraid of sacrificing what we are (and possibly what we’ve invested into what we are), even when there is potential to become something better. This fear, like most fears, stems from the unknown. We are not usually sure of what we will become if we take the leap and make the sacrifice. There is no implicit guarantee that the results will be an improvement. This is used as justification for maintaining our status quo.

I have seen people sacrifice what they are for what they could become. I have seen people sacrifice their comfortable jobs in order to chase after their dreams and better opportunities. I have seen people sacrifice their religious convictions in order to pursue a greater truth. I have seen people sacrifice their beliefs about society, family, and even reality in order to become better, more open, and stronger people. Some of these sacrifices may have been in vain or simply misplaced, and a few of them did not result in a positive change. But none of them were misguided so long as the goal was improvement. It takes a lot of courage and bravery to make these sacrifices. People don’t easily stray from comfort.

It’s not one of my favorite quotes, but Neale Donald Walsch is quoted as saying “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” I much prefer the way Charles Du Bos puts it in today’s quote, but the message is the same.

Have courage. Seek improvement. Take calculated risks. Be willing to sacrifice what you are for what you could become.