“Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.”
- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
This is something I firmly believe and love to attempt to incorporate in my life. It’s amazing how easy it can be to attempt to add things in order to improve a situation, when really this is rarely the true solution.
And so it is that I find there is nothing more to say about this beautiful quote.
“Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.”
- Abraham Lincoln
The idea of tact came up in a class the other day when we were talking about dealing with customers on the phone. I consider myself to be fairly tactful, and in class I remembered this quote by Abraham Lincoln. It got me thinking. ”Is this what tact is? Is it really this simple?”
Think of the most difficult, tense situation you have ever found yourself in with a customer or any individual you had to work with. What made the situation tense? What did it take (or would it have taken) to settle the situation peacefully? Have you ever met a person you considered tactful? What made them tactful? How about a person who had absolutely no tact? I’ll bet they were pretty selfish and self-centered.
Children have no tact. They are wonderful, can be very sweet, and even considerate, but they have no tact because they are incapable of knowing how you see yourself. They cannot put themselves in your shoes.
Most of the time, when I am being tactful, I believe that my tact comes from my ability to know how others see and perceive their world. People become offended quickly when you ignore them or show little regard for their feelings. If you can show them that you understand their position they will be more willing to listen, more willing to work with you and more friendly toward you.
Even better, if you can appeal to what they like about themselves and avoid topics that touch on things they don’t like about themselves, you will evade many communication mishaps. The golden rule applies: if you treat others the way they want to be treated, you will be more effective working with them and communicating with them than if you ignore their point of view. The trick is learning to see others the way they see themselves. That is a topic for another day.
“If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?”
- Scott Adams
This is just fun. What kind of questions do stupid people ask? You might argue that there are no “stupid” people, but you know that there are indeed people who are less intelligent than the elusive “normal” person. For argument’s sake, less than normally smart people are stupid. What kinds of questions do they ask?
Let’s try the new feature from WordPress, polls.
I don’t feel like getting overly philosophical about this, so I’m going to leave it to you to ponder the answer to Scott’s question. This quote is a good one to know though because it is an easy conversation starter, and I hear it makes a formidable pickup line.
As for the wisdom behind this quote (like I promised in the second post), I suppose Mr. Adams may have been pointing out the ridiculous labels we give people and things. Is it really necessary to call a person stupid? Perhaps he may have done something less than intelligent, or he may even do unintelligent things on a regular basis, but that person can learn, even if the only questions they ask are… stupid questions.
“Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.”
- Charles William Dement
This quote goes along well with the last quote. In fact, if you combine the two, I’d say that you could consider me quietly and safely insane most of the time.
Interestingly, in my original list of quotes, I had the source of this one listed as “Fisher, in Newsweek.” I wonder if that is who originally quoted Dement in a publication. Either way, it’s a good quote.
The truth is, we often have very strange dreams, even our daydreams can be a little odd. That’s ok. There’s nothing wrong with entertaining a little insanity in our dreams. The idea is to keep the insanity in the world of dreams.
I personally enjoy my dreams very much and cherish my insanity.
“Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.”
- Edgar Allan Poe
You know, I’m glad somebody said it. The fact is, I dream a lot during the day. In fact, I often enjoy my daydreams more than I enjoy my nighttime dreams, and I’d say only about a fifth of my dreams happen at night.
I’m not saying that I spend most of my waking hours gazing off into space daydreaming. What I’m saying is that I love daydreaming and I feel that it actually enhances my person, my creativity and my logical abilities. Daydreaming is closely tied to imagination and creativity. In fact, right now as I try to write this I am daydreaming.
Cognizant isn’t seen very often in our contemporary vocabulary, but by analyzing the roots we can easily see that it has to do with awareness and thought. Many definitions equate it directly to being aware of something, but I like to think that the Mr. Poe intends the use to be read a little deeper than that.
Think of the words cognition, recognize and cognitive powers (like the cognitive powers of Sherlock Holmes, one of my heroes). These could all be related to awareness, but they are used in conjunction with thought and analytical ability. In my mind, the quote means: “Those who dream by day are thinking about, analyzing and aware of many things which escape those who dream only by night.” Cognizant simply condenses all of those ideas into one word.
I, for one, am a proud daydreamer and I truly feel that daydreaming is a positive, beneficial habit. What do you think about daydreaming? Is it healthy? Does it contribute positively to a person?
“Many a man fails as an original thinker simply because his memory is too good.”
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Funny story about this one… I wanted to quote this to someone, and I couldn’t remember the quote! Anyone who knows me (even if only casually) can say at least two things about me. First, that I have a horribly dysfunctional memory and secondly that my thoughts or ways of doing things are often unique, if not completely original.
What makes this quote true? Does a bad memory always go hand in hand with original thought? Sure, to many who read this the answers are obvious. Some people, though, may have difficulty seeing the wisdom that is so carefully enveloped in these simple words.
I am a problem solver. I love the challenge of a problem that needs solving. There are usually many solutions that will fit a problem; the challenge isn’t simply to find a solution, but rather to find the best solution. That elusive best solution is what drives me to solve problems.
Most problems occur many times. Anyone who has used a Windows computer or had children can tell you all about problems that just keep happening over and over again. How many times have you seen a problem and thought, “I’ve seen this before, how did I solve it last time?” I ask myself that question every time, and you know what? I can never remember how I solved it last time. So, rather than going through the same motions (by memory) to get the same solution and outcome as last time, I have to solve the problem all over again, following different steps, forming a different solution. The result of this is often (and inadvertently) the same solution, at times a less effective solution or, on occasion, a much better solution than the last one.
By taking a different approach to the same situations simply because I can’t remember how I did it last time I have found that many of my approaches to life are unique. People often comment that they never would have thought to do something that way.
Of course, my experience isn’t the experience of everyone with a bad memory. I would say that a bad memory encourages original thought, it doesn’t create it. Perhaps if you are one of the unlucky souls who suffers from a good memory and rarely comes up with original thoughts or ideas, you could try this: Next time you are presented with a familiar situation and you remember how you handled it the last time, forget it.
Forget all about your past experience and start from scratch. Certainly you want to remember and use the most effective solutions in the beginning, and you wouldn’t want to be caught treading unfamiliar ground coming up with new solutions in an important situation where failure could be devastating. At first you’ll want to save this for a time when a mistake would have a minimal impact. Then, as you get better at acting like you don’t have a good memory and your original thoughts begin flowing more easily, you can start using this technique even where you thought you had the best solutions already.
You may find that all of your old solutions were fairly mediocre and some of your new solutions will be quite bright.
“Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.”
- Albert Camus
As simple and straight forward as this may seem, it actually has a profound meaning for me.
I try to avoid claiming to know too much about any one thing, but when it comes to relationships, especially of the human variety, I do feel a tad more qualified than most to offer insights and ideas that may be of benefit to any human who interacts with another human on a regular basis.
I feel that this quote speaks very clearly for itself, and I do not wish to taint it with my ramblings attempting to break it down for you if you don’t get it. This is why I am going to illustrate what this quote means to me with a personal antecdote and leave it at that.
For two years I lived in a unique situation. I resided in several places with anywhere from one to three roommates at one time (all of which rotated in and out with some frequency), with one or two of those as assigned work companions. These companions were rotated on a regular basis, each one staying with me for a period of anywhere from a few weeks to several months.
Over the course of those two years I had no fewer than two dozen such companions, and probably almost four dozen roommates in all. As a man, I find that women make the best living companions, but all of these roommates and companions were young men like me.
I do not get along very well with other men, I don’t relate to them on any practical level. From early on in that two year period it was obvious that the living conditions would either equate to a recipe for certain disaster, or offer a tremendous opportunity for personal growth.
Our daily activities required frequent travels over moderate distances, and most of our traveling was carried out on foot. Thus, every morning for two years I left an apartment on foot and walked around all day with a companion (a male companion, nonetheless), someone I had to stay within a few yards of at all time.
Did I mention that I was living in Mexico for those two years? Would it make a difference if you knew that nearly all of my companions were native Mexicans and I knew almost no Spanish? For the first few months I walked in silence with my companions and had plenty of time to contemplate the non-verbal communications that passed between us, both intentionally and unintentionally.
One of the first things I noticed was the relationship between how well we got along and how we walked together. My very first companion walked next to me most of the time, but if I began to walk slower than he wanted me to he would not adjust his speed. Some times I would trail several yards behind and he wouldn’t even look back to see if I was there. My next companion never walked beside me at all, but instead insisted on walking in front of me, as did my third companion. Later I had a companion who was timid and would not walk beside me. He chose to walk behind me and let me lead the way.
While, to him, it may have appeared that I was leading the way, his choice of where to walk actually had a drastic impact on our companionship. In fact, the walking arrangement between two people both affects and is affected by their relationship. It may all seem trivial to you, but consider the following:
In my first companionship we walked next to each other, side by side, as long as I was walking up to speed. You could say, as long as I was meeting my companion’s expectations he awarded me with a coequal walking arrangement, as though his presence were a gift to me. As soon as I was too slow for his taste, he passively pulled away from me in an attempt to make me feel as though our separation (the retraction of his great blessing to me) were my fault for not walking as fast as he wanted me to. Of course it wasn’t his fault, he didn’t change speed.
Certainly he had a good heart, and none of the above was actually going through his head as we walked. He merely demonstrated these attitudes in his actions (or inaction), and the message was as clear to me as it would have been to anyone observing. Not only did it reflect his actual attitude and role (though inexperienced himself, he was supposed to be training me) in our relationship, but it had a deep impact on it as well, causing me to withdraw and speak to him only when absolutely necessary. How was I supposed to speak to him with that physical and symbolic distance between us that he was so carefully using to “teach” me?
When my companions simply walked ahead of me, refusing to allow me to keep up with them, we experienced problems. These companions looked down on me and saw me as a nuisance and a bother, and this was reflected and reinforced by the walking arrangements.
In my companions who purposefully walked behind me, despite my best efforts to walk next to them, I noticed a lack of confidence and our work efforts were less effective.
My most effective and positive companionships were all marked with a side by side walking configuration. This is not simply a coincidence, it is a rule. Not walking side-by-side can be a symptom of bad feelings in a relationship, or it can cause them. Like I said before, the way a person walks with another person can both reflect and affect the state of the relationship between the two.
So, while the quote is symbolic in nature (the symbology of which I will not discuss) there is a very real, literal meaning here that is deeply engraved in my heart. If you ever chance to walk with me in person, please remember the wise words of Albert Camus, “Just walk beside me and be my friend.”
“I don’t make jokes, I just watch the government and report the facts.”
- Will Rogers
What makes a thing funny? How is it that a person commenting on our government’s actions could be mistaken for a comedian?
Of course, the reality behind this quote is that Will Rogers was indeed a comedian and a humorist (among many other things), but in search of the deeper truth buried in these words, I ask myself, “What makes a thing funny?” Especially in the context of government, such a question seems odd and out of place. The government tends to be dry and boring, how could its products bring laughter to us?
Some of the most universally humorous situations contain out-of-place elements or ideas – they don’t really make sense, but our minds can connect them anyhow and we chuckle as a result. Perhaps that’s why the government makes us laugh when reported by someone talented enough to spot the funny in the situation. The government is constantly doing things that don’t make sense. When reported in their context, these nonsensical actions are inherently funny.
As someone with a direct view into the inner workings of a small portion of our government, I can attest to the truth of this quote. You don’t need to take the government’s actions out of context to get a good laugh. You can just take a look at the facts and bust your gut all day long.
“In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.”
- John Adams
If one of the founding fathers, and the second president of the United States can make fun of politicians and government institutions like this, then that tells you just how right quote #6 was. In fact, this very topic came up toward the end of that post when I started talking about politicians rather than the government as a whole (this is the follow-up quote I promised).
I love how Mr. Adams addresses the uselessness of three groups of people at once in this quote. The first group, the idlers, are useless and shameful in and of themselves. They are a benefit to nobody and are a burden to society. The next group, lawyers, well… What can I say? They are as political in thought and heart as any politician (many politicians and presidents were once lawyers). Finally, three or more useless men are a congress. If, in John Adam’s eyes, the whole of congress was filled with useless politicians in his day, I suppose we haven’t improved much on the system our founding fathers laid down for us.
I would never want to sit in on a session of congress. I just know I would get annoyed. I’ve dealt with useless men individually, and I’ve dealt with law firms, but I have been lucky enough to stay away from congress thus far and I intend to keep it that way.
“A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them.”
- J. O’Rourke
Looks like I’ve been on a little politics kick lately, which is funny because I really don’t enjoy anything political. I guess I get kind of annoyed every election year at all of the political nonsense that goes on around me.
This quote makes me laugh, which takes us back to the front page quote (#2). I think it’s safe to say most people find the idea behind this quote funny to a degree, and the humor lies in the truth it contains. We all know that we only trust the government as far as we have to, and no further.
This is not to say I have anything against our government. I just don’t rely on it, like I don’t count on luck coming along to save me.
I suppose I would probably say my real issue isn’t so much with the government, but with its people – the politicians. I would say, “A few politicians and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them, but the politicians are less favorable.” I actually have a quote along these lines, so watch for it in the pingback or trackback (or whatever) in the comments on this post, or just subscribe.
“Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.”
- Douglas Adams
Is my commentary really even necessary for this one? This quote is so beautiful, concise and true, I have nothing to add but a few reflections.
I think of all of the many presidents this country has had, and I think about their “qualifications.” I think that by the time you arrive in a position of being capable of becoming the president you are no longer in the same tax bracket, education bracket, social bracket or any other bracket as those who you are to represent as president.
When will [Bret Peters], my neighbor, make it to the ballot? How about my favorite high school teacher, [Mr. Williams]? Sure, we could all write in the same name and elect a president that should be allowed to do the job, but how could such a feat ever conquer the millions of dollars the official candidates spend each election for campaigning and how could we all agree on the same person?
A qualified person could never be elected, then, because if they have the money and political status necessary to win under our current system they are, by default, unqualified (out of touch); and a single qualified candidate could never be decided upon by the whole populous. Obviously, if a humble (in touch) rich person with no serious time in politics who has not lost touch with his (or her) roots could be located and convinced to run for the presidential office, perhaps they could campaign with the rest of them and get elected. I have to ask myself though, would the election process be enough to corrupt them and maintain the veracity of these words from Mr. Adams?
Perhaps, but we shall never know for sure.
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
- Burns, quoted in Life
I enjoy this quote because it feels just as sarcastic as it does genuine and either way it contains a great truth. It’s hard to say (without any background on the context or intented meaning) whether he was being completely serious, satirical or a mixture of both.
However he intended it to be interpreted (and he probably inteded both the sarcastic and genuine meanings) it has great meaning to me this election. I have another quote (which I’m sure will come up in the future) that deals with politics and deals with a similar idea, and both quotes express an idea that I believe. I truly feel that political and government entities have lost touch with the reality of their post in society.
On the serious side of this quote, the people who know what needs to be done in this country, the true voice of America, is caught up in the daily routine. They go to work, do their jobs and go home. Nothing great happens to improve the nation, nothing spectacular comes along that changes their life. Those who would do the best job running this country are to busy trying to get by in life to actually do the job.
Now, I think the heavier meaning (the more significant aspect) of this quote is in the sarcasm. Think about how easy it is for us, as bystanders and witnesses to all that happens in the government, to criticize our leaders and say we could to better. Even if the government is out of touch with the reality of our lives, they are doing what they believe to be right (at least some of the time, anyhow) and I like to think they are doing the best they can.
Just like the beer can wielding armchair quarterback yelling at his television set Sunday afternoon, many average Americans (especially in the service industries like taxi drivers and hair stylists) tend to pass their time with their customers discussing issues they know very little about and giving their “professional” opinion about how a particular negotiation might have been handled better, or how a particular bill should have been drafted to more fully benefit the community (meaning, benefit them personally).
Perhaps what Burns was getting at was this: Every one of those political backseat drivers could end their argument by saying, “Of course I could do a better job of running the country, but I’m too busy cutting hair, earning my dollar, to actually do anything about it.”
“Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.”
- Erica Jong
This has been a common theme for me over the last decade or so. At one time I asked for a lot of advice. I used to ask for advice about almost everything. I did, that is, until I realized one day that I didn’t need to hear any of the advice I was asking for. I already knew what I had to do, but I didn’t want to do it.
Over the years I developed and grew, feeding off the rich wisdom of my parents. Several years ago people began asking me for advice on occasion (for no apparent reason) and I actually knew what to tell them. I quickly came to the realization again that advice is rarely sought in the actual absence of knowing what to do.
These days, when pressed for advice, I keep in mind that the person asking usually knows exactly what she has to do but doesn’t want to do it without getting moral support and hearing what she already knows coming from me as her friend. Some times we just don’t want to do the right thing alone, we need to hear that someone else is encouraging us to do the right thing as well. In reality, we should be able to do what we know to be right without hearing it from someone else.
I suppose, in some abstract way, we are hoping that by asking for advice we can bring our friend with us on the same emotional journey through which we are passing. They hear about our plight, they consider the situation and come up with the solution with us, so it’s like we’re not alone.
It’s funny because we humans usually have a hard time holding back that we know the answer to a complex problem. We are proud of our wisdom and knowledge, so we usually jump at the opportunity to share when we know the answer. When it comes to our own problems though, we suddenly become experts at feigning ignorance.
As the advice giver, I now apply this principle when dealing with a friend asking for advice. I withold that I know an answer until after I have extracted from him that he knows what he needs to do. My advice, then, becomes encouragement to do what he knows he needs to do. I refuse to tell someone something they came to me knowing.
“When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.”
- George Bernard Shaw
I wanted to get this one done early and “stick” it to the front page of this blog because it is going to be a common theme in this project. Many of the most beloved quotes in history are humorous in nature. I love getting a little chuckle out of a quote, and it’s nice when the wisdom behind the humor is obvious. Many times, though, the wisdom may not be so obvious.
One of the missions behind this little project is for me to discover the hidden wisdom or truth behind every quote, funny or not. Of course, many times my interpretation of the truth will be highly personal, but that’s why I want your comments too.
I encourage any visitor to this site who finds a quote they like to share a brief comment on the quote. In this way we will all find the truth and wisdom behind the quotes we love.
“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”
- Aristotle
I was talking with a friend today about this very subject. All too often people are shocked when I share some of the thoughts that I have. For this reason, I rarely share the thoughts I have with people unless A) the thoughts are tame or B) I know that person already accepts that I am a loon.
Just because you’ve never thought those strange thoughts yourself, or just because those strange thoughts may not be completely acceptable do you think that I never should have thought them in the first place? I have a good, educated brain in my head, not a lazy one. I am perfectly capable of entertaining thoughts without them posing a danger to my character or desires.
One of the teachings of my religion that I enjoy very much is the knowledge that we will be judged (by God) on the basis of both our actions and our desires. The problem for most people is that desires are the product of becoming obsessed with a thought. So, if you have a thought that is not good, it is best to avoid entertaining it so as to avoid the problem thought escalating into a desire that could one day manifest itself in your actions (thoughts are the seeds of desire and the fruit of desire is action).
However, what if you are able to entertain the thought with no risk of that thought becoming a desire? You might successfully argue that nobody is completely immune to their thoughts becoming desires, so it is best to entirely avoid certain thoughts that could one day mature into horrible acts. I agree. I would never entertain thoughts of adultery, domestic violence or anything else for which I would not ever be able to forgive myself.
However, entertaining thoughts of other taboo subjects is acceptable for the educated mind, so long as the discipline to contain those thoughts and control them exists. So, I shall continue to entertain the thought that I would make a good criminal and the idea that I really should have taken the bounty hunter’s career path several years ago, because mine is an educated mind with the power to prevent such thoughts from spawning desires that would get me into trouble.
Of course, the quote also refers to the idea that an educated mind can consider beliefs, thoughts and ideas that are not its own without accepting them or believing them. I can entertain, in my mind, the teachings of another religion without accepting them. (My friend, by the way, is very good at this.)
It’s just more fun to think about hacking the bank and living in Mexico with a trillion dollars to blow on video games, electronics, junk food, jets and a massive collection of books.
